Summary of the last 3 weeks....

So I've been trying to decide what to write about the last 3 weeks and its really hard to think of the words to summarize my experience at Kyangwali Refugee Settlement. I wish it were easier to explain than it is. And I think I'm going to have an even harder time trying to explain to people in person what this experience was like without having the person also experience it. If I could choose 3 words to describe it, I guess I'd say it was: heart-wrenching, challenging, and amazing.

It was heart-wrenching because as an outsider looking in, its incredibly difficult to imagine the life of a refugee. A poster I saw in one of the NGO offices I visited summed it up pretty well by saying, "A refugee wishes to have your problems". To see these people who are completely out of their element, who have been randomly moved to this settlement, and expected to carry on their lives like nothing happened to them is what was heart-wrenching for me. Then to be interviewing unaccompanied minors, whose parents were killed in the Congo, and some of them witnessed the death of their mom or dad, and be in a position where they are asking you advice for how they can get money to go to school is heart-wrenching to me. And then to have to tell them that you're just a student and you're not in any position back home to be able to support them or to be able to lobby for their resettlement in the US is even more difficult.

This experience was challenging because I've never been so acutely aware of my skin color, and the incredible meaning behind what it means to be white, until being surrounded by refugees who have no power or voice in this world, and who look to you, the mzungu (white person), like you are there to fix all their problems and knowing that I can't. During one of the home visits, the UNHCR official I was working with told me this family said they felt so blessed that I had come to their home because I was like an angel to them. It was very hard to then leave, go back to my semblance of a normal life at the guesthouse on the settlement, knowing full well that I couldn't save them or provide any salvation from their suffering. I started to feel like being white was almost an additional burden I carry here in Africa, because it alludes to so many expectations that I cannot fulfill and it breaks my heart that the world is set up in such a way that it is only the white person who can come in and fix Africa's problems.

In the end, the 3 weeks at Kyangwali were amazing because I learned so much from the minors I spoke to and the people I met that I would never regret going there. Everyone I met, from the UNHCR people, to the children I interviewed, were incredibly gracious and welcoming and I will miss all the people I met there. I hope to remember all the stories I heard because I was so fortunate to be witness to the plight of refugees. One of the most inspirational moments I had there was through meeting my translator DJ who works for an organization called COBURWAS which stands for Congo, Burundi, Rwanda, and Sudan. It's a youth organization formed by refugees 4 years ago in order to improve the lives of the youth through leadership training and providing educational opportunities for the many orphans who do not have access to school. He was so nice, energetic, and optimistic about the future of youth here that it really made me feel like I could contribute something to the lives of the orphans here by contributing to the work of COBURWAS. He described the work of COBURWAS as a way for the people to not become a slave to the name refugee. He said people can be a refugee by name but not by action and it would be through refugees solving their own problems by working together that they could improve their lives. I thought that was a very powerful statement and I couldn't be more grateful that I had the opportunity to meet DJ and spend time learning so much from him. If you want to learn more about COBURWAS go to www.coburwas.org.